Ibiza every night!?
The mosquito is, without question, one of the most comprehensively misunderstood creatures on the planet.
Let us, for a moment, set aside the staggering body count. I am aware this requires a rather heroic act of generosity on your part, but do try. The mosquito is, statistically, the most lethal animal in human history—responsible for more deaths than every war ever fought, combined. This is not open to dispute. We are simply choosing to sweep it under the carpet for now.
What is considerably less appreciated is what actually drives the beast. The mosquito—specifically the male of the species—is propelled by an insatiable thirst for a damn good time. That, coupled with the fact that it possesses a memory span so fleeting it makes a concussed goldfish look like a grandmaster chess champion, makes the creature unique.
Whilst they often reside in perfectly modest suburban arrangements—which is precisely why they are so devilishly difficult to locate during daylight hours—at night it is a rather different matter. At night, it is just a bunch of blokes out looking for a laugh. Every night is a bachelor night.
What you hear as an infuriating high-pitched whine is actually a gleeful cheer as the lads dance around, stumbling their way through the dark. Ibiza every night! Or... was it?
Which brings us back to Mildred.